I only kidnapped one of them. chill
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
