i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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