God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
