All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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