He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
