I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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