i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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