Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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