I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
