these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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