the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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