Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
