I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
