wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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