did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
