We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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