Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
