the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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