He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
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Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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