I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
