i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
