butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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