Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
