You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize