: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I want her autograph on my taint
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
