No more Irish car bombs ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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