I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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