Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
