I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize