Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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(201): View more from New Jersey

bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems

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(661): View more from California

Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.

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(646): View more from New York

You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(785): View more from Kansas

So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.

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(734): View more from Michigan

we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas

(810): View more from Michigan

I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"

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(231): View more from Michigan

We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?

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(406): View more from Montana

So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.

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