Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?

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(248): View more from Michigan

New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people

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(703): View more from Virginia

You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete

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(214): View more from Texas

Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.

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(416): View more from Toronto

No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower

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(503): View more from Oregon

In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!

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