I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
