I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.