my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.