So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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