pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
