DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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