Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
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i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
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I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.