you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
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You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?