"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from