bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
