The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
