I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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