R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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