we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
This is the high leading the old right now
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY