she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10