Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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