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• (714): View more from California

  He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick

  (714): View more from California

  Ive only called 5 times

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• (818): View more from California

  I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cherish every text you send me

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Or a taco

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?

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• (409): View more from Texas

  we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman

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• (212): View more from New York

  It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.

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