Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
His hands were made for my vagina.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
