You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE