i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
