just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
