we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
