for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize