how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have already put on my inside pants.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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