i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
