nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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