He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
two words...techno handjob
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
