I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
