The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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