Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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