how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
