He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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