New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
there is puke in my bra ... again
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