No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
