I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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